Everyone that is a reader of My Remote Radio knows I’m kind of the supernatural guru here.  At Halloween time I love to really sit down and talk about how you can really fight off werewolves, and find real explanations for why we have the beliefs we do.  But I can’t keep quiet about this anymore…ghost pictures are bullshit.

Seriously folks, they are.  I’m a firm believer in the spirit world and haunted houses.  I love watching shows like Psychic Children and crap like that, but ghost pictures are the stupidest thing out there in the “ghost hunting” world.

If you have ever watched a show where they have analyzed ghost pictures there is something you realize right away about these people, they are either desperate, or just completely insane.  They’ll bring in pictures that are either obviously doctored, or taken in a super dusty room.  Then they get mad when they are disproved, hold true to their belief, and we all get a good hearty laugh.

So why are ghost photos this big phenomenon?  Why do we have shows dedicated to looking through hundreds of pictures hoping to find evidence of a ghost?  Simple, it would prove to everyone that there is in fact something after this life.  That’s something that we all wonder about, but some people let it consume them and end up on Ghost Facers.

This isn’t a new phenomenon though, ghost pictures go back just about as far as photography.  Ghost pictures kind are like spiritual porn, in a way.  Once we have a new medium there are 2 things we try and do with it…have people get naked in front of it, and try and find ghosts.

In 1860 carnivals were huge, one of the more popular attractions in said carnival, among the freak shows and acrobats, was the funhouse.  Sometimes it was made to be a ride into the unknown, and other times it was something you walked through.  They were filled with odd things like clowns and mirror mazes, but almost every one had a special room where you could see a ghost.

Now this wasn’t a real ghost mind you, it was an illusion constructed by a man named John Henry Pepper.  This illusion works because of the mirrors hidden throughout a room.  Have you ever been to Disney World and gone through the Haunted Mansion?  Then you’ve seen Pepper’s Ghost.

The illusion is really just a simple mirror trick.  Two identical rooms are built next to each other (being sure that the audience can only see the main room).  The secret room is typically painted black, and the large mirrors are cleverly hidden.  A person positions himself inside the secret room and waits for the audience.  When they arrive, he turns on a light shining just on him in the secret room, and his ghostly image is reflected off the glass of the main room!  Voila, the audience has their ghost.

But this is a carnival trick, how does this relate back to ghost pictures?  Ever heard of double exposure?

It’s a fairly similar idea.  A person takes a picture, and an image from one negative frame gets superimposed on another.  So there you are sitting with grandma in her den, when you notice that the lamp is actually in front of a ghostly cat!

This is how ghosts were made at the dawn on photography…and people still claim these are “real” pictures.

So you’ll find that double exposure pictures are pretty much on every ghost site, and I can understand why initially people might think they are valid.  But then something happens, these ghost pictures take a turn for the lame, and I really can only just cradle my head in my hands and ask “why”.

I guess double exposures weren’t enough, they were too easily explained, then one day someone thought up the idea of orbs.

Goddamn what a stupid idea.  To normal people, orbs are just particles that reflect light from the flash of your camera.  To the ghost hunter an orb, or a cluster of orbs means that there are tons of ghosts living in your house waiting to eat your cereal.

I’ve clicked through dozens of ghost websites and have noticed that 90% of these pictures are just pictures of dust.  I love it too, people will write captions like “this is mom, surrounded by orbs, she must be blessed”.  WRONG!  Guess what ghostfan1973 your mom isn’t blessed by circular ghosts, she’s just really dirty.  Even seen Charlie Brown?  Well if we took a picture of Pigpen you’d get a similar effect!

It’s just dust!  You see it drifting in and out of those mid-day beams of sunlight that come through the window, you see it in front of your goddamn TV when you first turn it on.  You can justify it then, why not in a picture?

Then there is my favorite picture, the wispy smoke.

These pictures are usually taken in or near a cemetery, or by a campfire.  People see these whisps of smoke and just go berserk.  I don’t care if the smoke looks like a cat, chances are, it’s probably coming from that cigarette you’re smoking.  It just baffles me how people can try so hard to look to find importance to something when there is really nothing there at all.

So why do we do this?

We as humans have this trait where we can’t let things just happen as they do and accept it, we have to find meaning behind it.  This goes all the way back to prehistoric man when he created Gods to explain why there were thunderstorms and earthquakes.  However, as we learn how these things actually happen now we just let the crazy ghost hunters talk about how they saw the devil in the flames of a burning building.

Am I alone in this train of thought?  Does anyone else believe in this, but just find that these ghosts skeptics are kinda like the crazy guy talking to himself on the street corner?