What is probably one of the most successful B-rate franchises on the planet, the Evil Dead series has seen 3 movies, 2 video games, a stage musical, and countless mashups in comic books and fan fiction, not to mention lunch boxes, t-shirts, and a really awesome line of action figures.  Where do we go from here?

(Looks like there were only 2 reasons to see this…ba-zing!)

Many of you, before even finishing that sentence are already wracking your brain to remember all the little bits of info we’ve been hearing for over a damn decade about Evil Dead 4.  Let’s be honest here people…It aint happening.

Several of you probably just gasped so loudly your co-workers probably think you have asthma now.  I understand, even I was surprised by my last sentence, but seriously people let’s be real for like 10 seconds here.  Been rumored for over a decade, do you remember the last series that came out of hibernation after that long?  That’s right Star Wars…what good came of that?

(I am a bitter, bitter man)

Also, I mean, does anyone even WANT to see this now?  Personally, after watching Drag Me To Hell, I found myself wondering what other horrors that Sam Raimi is kicking around up in that noggin of his.  I would much rather see that right now, than another sequel or remake.  I think that if another Evil Dead did get released, it would be lost among the Friday the 13ths and the Nightmare on Elm Street revivals (not that those series were in any way dead).

Ask me about Evil Dead 4 again, I dare ya!

I think we as fans are getting a little too demanding with this stuff.  Ted Raimi just “released” new info that said “It might happen, it might not, we’ll see.”  We’ve been reading this info for so long, but somehow we have become delusional enough to believe the bullshit excuses we give ourselves when all that hearsay leads us back to the inevitable, nothing is moving on this movie.

Why are we even talking about it anymore still?  There is no script, nobody seems to want to return to it.  Why would Raimi jump back into this awesome franchise and risk a Lucas move?  He’s got bigger and better projects to be working on.  If anything he should pull a John Carpenter and just sit on the success until he’s too old and fat to want to do anything, and then just sign away the rights to some new director just to get people off of his back.

I think we need to turn off the reel to reel tape player, stop with the Candarian chants, and just accept the truth.  There will be no Evil Dead 4, no matter what the demand.  I for one am okay with this, keep the series where it is…besides, Army of Darkness really wasn’t that great in the first place.  I see that as the excuse movie for people who don’t like horror films to still look cool.

(Oh you’ve seen Army of Darkenss too?  Wow, why don’t you talk to me when you grow some stones and watch a Fulci movie.)