Hipsters Need Not Apply
So living in Chicago presents a wealth of options for eye candy. Seriously, just today I saw the lead singer of Papa Roach walking down the street. These things just happen when you live in the big city. However, to really appreciate the context of this post I’m going to need you to fire up your iPhone Flux Capacitors and travel back in time with me…to yesterday.
On my lunch hour I go to the gym. When I was walking back I was greeted by a slew of art students waiting in line for…something. I still don’t know what, but the fact that they are art students is still pretty irrelevant. I have no problems with them, it’s their stupid fashion that pisses me off. More specifically, the hipster trend.
Hipsters were standing in line in droves! There they were, terribly dressed, with awful facial hair, looking absolutely apathetic about everything. You know who I’m talking about. These are the kids that go to Goodwill and find the most bizarre shit on the planet, and then wear it all as one outfit.
I mean, are they trying to look this bad in hopes that they will stand out as an individual? Or are they seriously that bored that they decide to see just how tight they can make their pants before their genitals fall off? I don’t have all the answers here people…do you?
I beg you, hipsters of the world, explain this to me! What is the appeal? If I grow a mustache that looks like Super Mario, and walk around with a hot pink shirt and purple spandex while slathering Secret deodorant under my arms…HOW IS THAT COOL?!
I do have clothes from the 80s, and that is when I wore them…the 80s! Is this the “arty” version of a goth? Seriously it fucking boggles my mind! Remember that scene in Back to the Future 3, when Marty goes into the saloon wearing all that hot pink cowboy shit. Remember that look the drunkards of that saloon gave him. THAT’S HOW I LOOK EVERY DAY!
From the Clint Eastwood Collection
And the worst part about it, they think they look AWESOME! I’ve heard them compliment each other! I mean its like watching Flava Flav and Lady Gaga co-launching a fashion line. I think they would simply call that “Hopeless”.
Here are some pictures of hipsters that make me feel like eating tin foil.
I don’t like discriminating people based on their clothing, I get tons of shit for wearing my “I like my women like I like my coffee” T-Shirt. I was once told I should be locked up in prison, and this was at grad school where minds are supposedly open.
However, the so called “shock value” of the horrid displays of ….uh…. let’s call it “fashion”… is more than played out. I take people wearing tight ass, ball grabbing jeans as seriously as I take people who wear anything from Sean John Clothing, Apple Bottom, or Abercrombie. I would say Ecko, but they make fat people clothing (normally, not special order like every other fuck-with does) and they also cater to the Horror and Star Wars community. so via la Ecko. Fuck the rest.
And as for the kids themselves who dress like this, they look like a pack of down syndrome patients. No wonder out economy is in the shitter.
And I do believe I have lost the argument I had started out making.
That t-shirt is funny. I get snippy comments from people too when I wear my Shining t-shirt or my Fulci shirt…people just don’t get it.
I’m all for dressing how you want and not getting shit for it…but I think there needs to be some barriers on it or else you just invite bullshit comments. Like if I go out in a horror shirt, nobody should say anything, let’s face it, even if they do…we don’t care anyway, we just assume they suck.
But if you went out in only a red Speedo and were wearing 5 gold chains and a brockabella when it wasn’t raining, you’re totally WANTING the comments. So there is a big difference between “let me wear my t-shirst” and “crazy guy wearing a poopy diaper as a bracelet.
And yes, you lost your own argument earlier…but its all about the line of tolerance we have.
Several years ago, I actually met that lice-ridden, twizzler-bodied, ironic mustachio wearing thrift store regular that you have pictured on the dirt road with his toy rifle… Wonder how his “urban pioneering” is going? HA! Thanks for the laugh.
NO WAY! In, I really hope you either A. punched him in his greasy, mustachioed face, or B. talked about how stupid he was promptly after meeting him.
Either way, that is awesome and I tip my hat to you. Thanks for reading My Remote Radio! Glad we made you laugh.