An Open Letter To Giorgio Tsoukalos
Dear Giorgio,
With a new season of Ancient Aliens premiering on History Channel, all us viewers get to bask in your over tanned glow and marvel at your wind-swept, Doc Brown hair. It gets us all thinking…what in the world happened man?
I think that his caption is far better than any caption I could ever write.
In the first few episodes you were a passionate alien explorer, the Indiana Jones of alien discoveries (excluding of course the actual Indiana Jones movie dealing with aliens, that was just horrible). You knew your info, you wore the artifacts, and you wowed us…but then slowly, you started to change.
One day, your hair was just a little more teased than normal. I personally thought that you were just going through a Farrah Fawcett phase, I mean haven’t we all been through that? As the series progressed however, your skin became darker, and suddenly you weren’t the person we knew from the beginning of the series. I thought that maybe you had just gone on vacation to a sunny, remote location and hadn’t had time to recover. Then I started thinking, was it the “fame” of ancient aliens that went to your head? Were you now no longer simply Giorgio Tsoukalos? Had you become Giorgio Tsoukalos portraying Giorgio Tsoukalos in a weird life imitates art paradox?
It’s more vivid in HD…
Your appearance on the show not only peaks our minds about if aliens have really arrived on Earth, but also peaked out interest into wondering if you actually wake up thinking, “Yeah, I’m going to do this episode…like a boss.”
Maybe this new look is a new communication technique you discovered to make better contact with the aliens. Is the hair some sort of wind tunnel whistle? Is the glow something they can lock onto from space? I mean seriously, it’s ridiculous.
Now I don’t want you to start feeling self conscious, and get mad because of this letter, I have to say I’m very impressed by your career. That’s right, I do my research, and I have to tip my hat to you man. You did what you love and made an awesome career out of it. You know five languages, started Ancient Aliens, the only magazine dealing with Alien Astronauts, and your own online bookstore. You’ve been to 54 countries, and are totally living an Indiana Jones-esque life…all I want is for you to just tone it down a bit man.
Just think about it okay?
One-Sheet
The Aliens are slowly cooking him from the inside out using advanced microwave technology so that he stops revealing their secrets. Unfortunately the constant beam has been weakened by our still existing ozone layer and will only gradually bake him over the period of 5 years. They do have other methods but they would be calling too much attention to themselves if they used them; after all everyone has a camera now…not like the 40′s when 8 people had cameras and the ufo photos flooded in.
That’s a much better explanation for this man’s craziness than what I have. I just thought a cartoon bomb blew up in his face.
Hahahaha! Those are both hilarious.
First, I have to say that I’m an educated, successful professional. This series should not be laughed at by anyone. You would have to be completely ignorant not to have your eyes open to the fact that ancient aliens are the ONLY explanation. I’m complexly overwhelmed with what I have learned and seen on the series. I’m planning my trip to Peru as we speak. It’s amazing how people are so blind, so stupid….it’s sad! My only question is this: Why the hell doesn’t the world see what is so clear and in their face?
Well, I love Georgio and I find you to be a Hotty
Gina
If there are any speaking events I can attend please email
Gina,
Thanks for reading the post and for the comment. I think I should clarify, that though this post does poke fun at Mr. Tsoukalos, we are NOT in any way saying that aliens are in no way real.
In fact this article was inspired because I am a very firm believer in these things and a huge fan of the show.
That being said, taking Georgio’s amazing and impressive background out of the mix, he just looks silly.
I wish you the best in Peru, and thanks again for coming to My Remote Radio.
Giorgio had me at first sight and he is so smart. I love him! I have a total crush on this cutie!!!0